A few weeks ago, my pastor asked me to share my story with the congregation. Wow, I said yes, partially b/c I don't know how to say no, and partially b/c I really wanted to do it. But I was SO nervous. Thank goodness, there are only about 40-50 people in our church - that made it seem a little easier. Since this is the only time I think I've ever stood up and told my whole faith journey in front of anyone - I wanted to write it down. For posterity? LOL Maybe just so I don't forget. Here goes:
When Jim asked me to share today, I said yes, almost without thinking - but then, when I thought about it, *that's* when I got nervous! How in the world do I condense what God has done in my life into 5 minutes? But, I've given it a shot, so here goes.
In the past year, the Lord has done some "interesting" things in my life. I kinda laugh when I think, "how on *earth* did a born and bred charismatic girl, who never even SANG a hymn in church until I was 23 years old, wind up here, and loving it?" If you had told me 5 years ago, this is where I'd be today, I would have told you that you were crazy. But let me back up for a minute.
I can't tell you what God is teaching me right now, without explaining at least a little bit about what He has done in my life up until now. I was raised in the church, in a "good Christian" family. I was mostly a good girl. I looked, acted, talked like a Christian. I knew LOTS about God, but the problem was, I didn't know God. It's a pretty typical story really - I spent all my growing up years with this huge void in my life, trying desperately to fill it, by gaining the approval and love of friends, family, and later boyfriends, and not so much family anymore:-). Along the way, there were some events that rocked my world - my parents' divorce when I was 13, my good friend Amy's death when I was 16. These were times I had the opportunity to turn to the Lord for help and comfort, for the stability and equilibrium I had lost. I'm sad to say that instead, I got more and more angry with God, and became convinced that He would never (or maybe could never?) love me, or give me the love I so desperately needed.
But the third time my world was rocked, when at 17 years old I was pregnant with my beautiful oldest daughter, I had nowhere else to go, but to the Lord. I had been *running* down the path to destruction, but about 2 months before SusieQ came into the world, I turned around and ran to Jesus. Now, almost 10 years later, I still am amazed at the incredible grace of our God, who while I was yet a sinner, stuck in the mire and muck of sin and death, chasing it really...even then, Christ died for me. Just like He did for each of you.
The first 5 years I was a believer, I did grow in the Lord. I think maybe I went from a "baby" to a toddler. But it wasn't until about 5 years ago, when I joined my first Bible study that the Word really came alive for me. Remember, I "knew" lots of Scripture, tons of Bible stories, but it had never gone beyond that, just knowing them. It wasn't until I began to really dig into the Word and study it that it truly changed my life. The past 5 years have been a transformation for me - all because of the Word of God.
From then until now has been a bit of a wild ride. God has blessed my life over and over, with Michael, wiht my other 2 munchkins, with his faithfulness through many trials and ups and downs. He has taught me more than I ever conceived of. He's led me so far out of my comfort zone, I don't even think I *have* a comfort zone anymore. He keeps calling me to do things like lead a women's Bible study - and I just am like "Lord, are you kidding? ME?
I feel a little bit like Paul - "oh wretched woman that I am"..."the chief of sinners". But one thing the Lord teaches me as I study the Bible is that He chose all kinds of folks who were a mess. A couple of years ago, I heard a wise minister say "It's not about YOU" - and it's just so true. It's all about Christ - His work in my own heart, in my marriage, in our family, and in this church. And the more that I learn to get myself out of the way and let God do His thing, the better off I am.
I want to close with a Scripture that pretty much echoes the cry of my heart today - from 2 Corinthians 12:9 - "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
posted by Amanda in NC @ 9:59 AM
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