The musings of SandK's mom:-)

Ahhh, switched out the keyboards!
Now, I can type wwwwwwwwww all I want LOL. It is *amazingly* difficult to type when you are missing one letter.

Now, on to more interesting things than my keyboarding woes. My pastor has been going through the Lord's prayer, phrase by phrase. VERY interesting for this former non-denom girl; I didn't grow up saying the Lord's Prayer. In fact, I only really memorized it in the last year since starting with our new church. This week's phrase was "and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors".

Now, I'm sure we've all heard a gazillion sermons on forgiveness right? Forgive, or you won't be forgiven...God's forgiveness...our forgiveness, and on and on. For some reason, the message of forgiveness never hit me quite the way it did on Sunday. (and I had a MASSIVE migraine, so it's kinda amazing that anything made it through my pounding brain. Must have been God, huh?)

The text for the day was from Matthew - it was a familiar story. The one about the king whose servant owed him a huge debt, one he could not possibly repay, and the king forgave the debt. Then the servant turned right around and found a man who owed him a very small debt, in comparison, and would not have mercy. For the first time, I saw this passage through my "mommy" eyes.

There are several folks out there in conservative Christendom (so-called parenting experts) who propagate the teaching that as parents, we have the responsibility to punish our children, in order for them to be cleansed of their own sin. And I quote: "A spanking (whipping, paddling, switching, belting) is indispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment. The parent holds in his hand (in the form of a little switch) the power to absolve the child of guilt, cleanse his soul, instruct his spirit, strengthen his resolve, and give him a fresh start through a confidence that all indebtedness is paid." These quotes are from a little book written by Michael Pearl. It's not just him, though, that believes and teaches others this particular little doctrine of parenting. Gary Ezzo, probably best known as the author of Babywise, also furthers this belief in the parenting classes his organization, Growing Families International, distributes. I unfortunately, have firsthand experience with this one. Much was made in our Growing Kids God's Way class of the *necessity* of punishment, in order for our children to have clean consciences and be able to be restored both to the family and to God.

Now, you might be thinking that this makes sense...I thought so too, at the time. But the more understanding I have of God's grace, and His forgiveness - well, it just doesn't match up. We are that first servant. We have a debt that we could never hope to repay, no matter how long and hard we work to do it. God, by His grace, has made a way to forgive us of that debt. He no longer calls us servants, but friends. But see, here's the thing that hit me, when our children sin, they don't "owe" us as parents. Where in the Bible does it say that we are the ones to forgive sins anyway? Last time I checked, that was a God thing. By punishing our children in order to "cleanse their souls", we are appointing ourselves God in their lives. We are not leading them to the cross, and letting the redemptive work of Christ have it's way - in fact, we're putting ourselves on the spiritual throne and making the grace of God unnecessary. Most of all (and saddest of all), we become that wicked servant, who has been forgiven so much, and yet turns right around and demands payment from a debtor of our own. The Gospel applies to our kids, folks. Just as much as it applies to us. Teach them, yes. Let them experience the consequences of their actions, absolutely. But let's leave the forgiveness of sin up to the Lord - the only one who truly CAN.

posted by Amanda in NC @ 4:14 PM